An Ecosystem of Humanness: Reflections of a Counselling Student in mid-life
- aumcoming
- 6 days ago
- 5 min read
Tears in the Lecture Hall
During a recent lecture in our Graduate Diploma in Counselling programme, our lecturer was asked to share about a deeply challenging clinical experience. As she recounted the heartbreaking realities of the work and a tragic loss, she began to tear up. We shed our own tears, joining her in our hearts, and then watched as she gently picked herself up and continued the lecture.
Many of us in the cohort had cried, felt anger, concern, helplessness, gratitude and a range of emotions in this training, which was among the most intense. This was not the first- or only-time emotions were allowed, witnessed, and held in our classes. Professors and students alike routinely share their struggles and what helps them cope.
We realize that in the profession of healing others, being deeply human is not just permitted – it is the foundation that helps us connect with ourselves and others.
We have witnessed lecturers lead from the heart, while maintaining the highest standards of academic and professional ethics and integrity. Meeting us where we are, and answering us patiently as we bridge our life, and academic experience in our metamorphosis journey.
Beginners, All Over Again
We are in the thick of the Master of Counselling programme — jointly offered by Flinders University and ECTA — and it has been an intense ride. A blend of fast-paced academic learning, practical exposure, and assessments, a critical aspect of the journey is the alchemy that happens within our inner worlds.
Now past our certificate programme and more than halfway through our Diploma, I look around at my cohort with deep reverence. Most of us are in mid-life career transitions, arriving from a plethora of professions: Accounting, Beauty, Crisis response, Design, Engineering, Entrepreneurship, Human Resources, Information Technology…Philanthropy, Para-medic support, Sales, Social work, Teaching—running the entire gamut of the human experience. Our motivations are as varied as our backgrounds. Some were spurred inward by losses, disappointments and tribulations in life. Others by a private mental health journey that deeply impacted them or their loved ones. Some more are embracing the innate empathy and listening capacity they’ve possessed their whole lives, and are stepping into their true vocation to help others.
The common thread weaving us together seems to be our increasing ease with our humanness and desire to be of service to others.
It has been my utmost privilege to learn and grow alongside my peers. These are some of the kindest, most authentic people I have met in any profession—and believe me, I have shed quite a few professions and identities by now! We classmates collaborate, share materials, resources, offer ideas to each other and host and participate regularly in technical and non-technical sharing (including food!).
My classmates’ role modelling extends far beyond the compassion in their hearts. Most have climbed ladders in their respective careers and chosen to dip their toes into this uncertain field to become students all over again. Stepping into a “beginner’s mind” in mid-life takes far more courage than it looks. It means making rookie mistakes and seeing yourself as a work-in-progress rather than the accomplished professional that you are in other parts of the workday.
Couple this resilience with the power of vulnerability, and imagine the kind of positive revolution these students are going to unleash on this unsuspecting world :)
The Hand That Feeds Counsellors
It’s not just the lecturers or the cohort that has formed this way; the very ethos of our academic institution flows in a cascade of kindness. ECTA lists "student-centricity" as a core value, however I find their approach extends far beyond that corporate term. “Human-centricity” might more accurately describe it. This culture clearly flows from the founder herself, Dr. Jessica Leong, and her Board of Directors—into each team – be it Administrative, Academic or Practicum. These are accomplished professionals whose success is uniquely driven by the heart.
I have never experienced another school or corporate environment that so genuinely loves to literally and figuratively feed its customers :) They take every opportunity to provide food for students, always keeping something to munch on for those rushing to class straight from their evening workplaces. Of course, they feed our souls during every kind interaction and vulnerable sharing that is so common within the premises, that it feels like a safe island when we step into its threshold from the outside world.
While they adhere to the strict rules required by regulation and their academic partnership, at ECTA, there seems to be permission and priority to foster compassion. I was a direct beneficiary of this recently when navigating a medical crisis at home. The management and staff did not bat an eyelid in offering their grace. They supported me every step of the way, even remembering to check in on my family when I finally returned to class. The way my friends in the cohort held me during this time—with moral support, prayers, and grace—was touching and vitally important.
Who Holds the Holders?
This culture of care is mirrored by the supervisors and mentors I’ve met along this journey.
My very first clinical supervisor, Reena Goenka, gently guided me on where I could improve while consistently affirming what I was doing right. Coming from a corporate world where perfectionism and high self-criticism are accepted as standard markers of success, having my early efforts at building therapeutic alliances affirmed was like a balm to my conflicted soul.
Similarly, mentors like Eunice Tan, & Niti Gupta, who are actively building ecosystems to support therapists, offer shared and crowd-shared wisdom across a wide range of vital topics. Eunice also generously offers her time and energy one-on-one with upcoming counsellors like me.
And then there is my practicum supervisor, Shila Naidu, who is also a mentor and supervisor for many early-stage and experienced counsellors. Working with her, I am learning, firsthand, what it takes to be a safe container for another human being. When I pitched integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) into my practicum, I expected yet another rejection. Shila trusted me and it took me a while to embrace that acceptance fully. This trust also becomes evident when I bring a conflict about a client, and she asks me to “check in with my parts”, allowing and nurturing my innate knowing rather than telling me exactly what to do.
She brainstorms and offers solutions when I need them. But what she mostly offers is a steady presence while I flail. I brought her question after question about how to induct new clients into a modality I was using mostly with advanced practitioners, and she met me with just the right balance of technical input and encouragement.
From her consistent lived experience and client handling, I learnt that: in counselling, the therapeutic alliance and the client's wellbeing supersede all else, even business from that very client.
Held, So We Can Hold
Looking back at the tears shed in that lecture hall, the shared meals, the extended grace during a family crisis, and the steady hands of generous mentors, I am struck by how rare this cocoon of care is.
We are not just learning how to counsel; we are being bathed in an ecosystem of humanness. We are being taught that before we can hold the heavy, and complex realities of our clients, we must first learn how to hold one other, and most importantly ourselves.
What choice can we possibly have, but to pay it forward? I am so looking forward to it!
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