Helping You to Help Me - the magic of facilitation

Many beautiful things have been happening for me with the announcement of my website. Beyond the feedback, ideas, and support from well-wishers, I have also reconnected with old friends. Many appreciated the service and its appropriateness for the times we are living in. As the “business of living” becomes increasingly complex, uncertain, and fast, our feelings of disconnection and stress seem to rise in tandem.

I understand that in this context, a service designed to empower people to find freedom from stressful thinking—and unlock their inner wisdom can feel well-timed indeed. I am glad it resonates. 

However, I am also receiving another kind of compliment that I haven’t quite known how to handle. One prospective client congratulated me on this initiative to "help people." Another well-wisher texted a similar sentiment, praising me for embarking on a journey to serve others. And I know, deep down, that’s not entirely true.

How it's all for me

When I launch voluntary initiatives in the global Work community, I often get thanked. I laugh and tell my friends from the Work that it’s actually for myself—and I am just glad they decided to “join the party.”

This has been a pattern in my life: if I need a solution and can't find it, I create or co-create it and offer it to the world. I am often the first customer of my solution.

A woman offering a bouquet to herself and feeling happy

This was also the case with my previous business, FlexiBees. When I couldn't find flexible jobs after a career break, my co-founders and I created a solution that gave mothers the option to work flexibly. While it helped thousands of women, the truth is, it also gave me that very option as an entrepreneur. I co-built what I needed.

I also hear the echo of the fulfillment I felt at FlexiBees. I used to feel profound satisfaction when a woman expressed getting her confidence back through her professional identity. It felt energizing and like an absolute privilege to be a part of something so meaningful.

I have since moved on from FlexiBees, leaving it in the able hands of my co-founders and dedicated team members. With Aumcoming, I find a similar, yet nuanced facet emerging.

The Trap of "Saving" People

With Aumcoming, I am not creating a new solution by any measure. There are many facilitators for The Work of Byron Katie worldwide. Byron Katie herself continues to host Zoom calls and retreats (both of which I have had the privilege of attending multiple times).

I am standing on the shoulders of giants and seers who have been shining the light for decades—or in the case of ancient teachings, for centuries.

The Work has been such a miraculous blessing in my own life that I want to scream from the rooftops and let everyone know that “suffering is optional.”

I used to have a "need" for people to be helped. I would look at someone and think, “That poor person is suffering from their thoughts—let me help them.” It backfired big time. :) My need to “shift others” shifted me out of peace and out of the pursuit of my own truth. Having done enough “Work on the Work,” I can now take it less personally if the method does not resonate or if people don’t want to try it.

A child eagerly putting her arms up to be lifted into an embrace

The Work is grace; it cannot be pushed. It knows when to move and towards whom. The Work will find its people, and those of us who are thus called will fall into it like helpless babies melting into a loving embrace. My only job is to speak what I know of it.

The Magic of Facilitation

Being in the Work feels like the most natural thing for me. I am at my most honest when I am both sitting in inquiry and facilitating it. In the most fulfilling sessions, we are both held in the same space, and I silently move with my wonder as you move with yours. 

When you radiate with joy after a session, it feels like balloons are released in my heart; sometimes tears fill my eyes. When I facilitate, I also learn something about myself.

A woman smiling happily and showing "hearts"

I get access to a feeling that cannot be pursued or bought. You and The Work are the mirrors through which I give myself that satisfaction, and the priceless privilege of witnessing a transformation—the coming back to “Aum.”

If you sit in front of me to be facilitated, you help me. It is a gift when you also feel helped. I'm just glad you decided to join the party!

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